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D

Back in September, when I reached 200 rejections, I promised I'd update you when I hit 300. But when you're racking up numbers like I do, you don't have time to go posting updates on every measly hundred.

That's what some people don't understand. Failure is busy work.

I am nonetheless not without pity for the wondering masses, so I figured I'd drop by and update you on things. Today I hit a milestone: a new Roman numeral.

Let us review:

I = 1

V = 5

X = 10

L = 50

C = 100

D = 500

M = 1,000

Naturally, the I's, V's, X's and even L's are much too trifling for a rejectee of my stature. Until now, I'd been measuring the success of my failures in the C's.

No more.

Today I can report that I have reached the D-class of rejections. Five-oh-oh. You read that right.

Folks who don't do much writing, or who don't submit for publication, may need some brushing up on the process. Basically, when you want to get published, you pour your heart and soul into a piece of fiction, polish it either until it shines or until you've polished it to dust and must sweep it into the bin, and then (in the former case) send it off to publications.

After that, you wait. The period may be as short as a few hours, or as long as (in one case in my experience) 351 days and counting. At the end of this period, if your story has merit, you may receive an acceptance. In my case, it will meet with a rejection. "Not a good fit" or "we wish you luck elsewhere", etc., phrases carefully crafted to avoid becoming victims of stalking by a maladjusted wannabe author. Not that I have time to stalk you people. Being so busy getting rejected.

This is a process I have now repeated more than D times. I'm a D.

Feels different. Feels like... coming of age.