more lonely ere it will be less

数少ない読者諸君をもっと減らそうとしているのじゃないかと思われる恐れがありながら、はい、何年か前に書いたソネットを転載。福島第一の災難が起きた直後に書いたものだ。

At the risk of losing any friends, readers or followers that may still remain to this blog... here's a poem I wrote a few years ago. It was written just after the Fukushima nuclear disaster.


A Fukushima Sonnet (Mutiny)

Is this the price of having on the lights?
Mutiny of the thyroid or the lungs?
Iodine and cesium in the rain,
Odorless, colorless, invisible?
We can only guess when it will arrive
Or what we can do to save our lives
Or whether we need to worry at all
Or whether our lives are worth the effort.
The elements have finally turned on us
Like servants of an unjust master broke
Out in vengeful mutiny.  The news says,
From the vegetables, the milk, or the air,
Of every four hundred children, one will
(Statistically speaking) get cancer.

そして分析:なぜこれが良いソネットではないかというと:

  1. 押韻していない。
  2. 抑揚は弱強五歩格に従っていない。
  3. 途中の「転」がない。普段ソネットは9行目あるいは13行目のところ起承転結の「転」がくるべき。

And now some analysis: Here's why this is not a good sonnet:

  1. It's unrhymed.
  2. It doesn't scan well (doesn't conform to iambic pentameter).
  3. It doesn't have the traditional turning point (8 and 6 or 12 and 2).